Monday, 8 June 2015

The Effects Of Power struggling between two lovers

When we eventually fall in love with that special person. At a start, all we see is a perfect person. We think we have been so lucky to meet that very special person who is the true image of our perfect beloved in human mature. We become stable and emotionally balanced with completeness. Our hearts are always in connection with them and we will always want to hear from and be around them.

This is the first phase of every relationship. It begins right from the very first moment we started dating. Often times this wonderful experience do last for two to three years and some relationship may not be lucky to be alive for such a period.

Sudden change in attitude
After making more commitment to the relationship we so much respect. Gradually we started seeing our partners' lapses. We would observe they are no longer the same person we thought they were, and they are not working towards been the person we wanted them to be. They don't care and show love to us as they always do before. 

We begin asking ourselves if something has actually gone wrong or why is he/she not responding to our good gesture and fair treatment. After several attempt to get things fixed, all our methods are not just walking they just don't care to listen anymore. This triggers our provocation and the relationship graduated to *power struggling phase*. In my previous post I talked about how to keep an healthy relationship.

Power struggling phase I
In an intimate relationship, the lovers can be strong and have different demand for self respect, yet also connect emotionally. It is very possible and normal for partners to have some disagreements on certain issues but not to the extent of threatening their relationship. At this level everybody is feeling so superior but emotionally they are connected.

They still care for eachother and won't do anything to hurt the other until it is graduated to a complicated phase.

Power struggling phase II
We don't want to tolerate at this level anymore. Whenever we had a slight disagreement with what our partner does, we over react negatively. Little thing about them provoke our anger. At that moment the power struggling becomes open and obvious because nobody want to tolerate ( shout for me and I do the same).
Without timely and proper intervention at this stage, we become intolerant to eachother and been so reactive to eachother. Little things trigger annoyance and provocative statement, making the relationship feel increasing unsafe and difficult.

Nobody is ready to tolerate because we tend to over focus on our partner's incompetence, overlooking their perfect qualities. No body want to apologise because we both feel comfortable with our reaction but this will definitely kill that wonderful relationship we so much have value for.


How to solve power struggling problem in our relationship

Everybody in a relationship need to get an input in it therefore you must all agree all the time about everything. Having a good relationship requires compromise. If you are both willing to grow together, learn how to share power and responsibilities among yourselves.

Stop been over reactive. We can only have intimacy with our loved one only if we are at peace with them. Try as much as possible to avoid provocation.

Communication is the best tool for all faulty relationships. Use it well and it will help in solving all odds.

I hope you know where you are getting it wrong now?

5 comments:

  1. Kai, i so enjoyed reading this, i can totally relate, i have experienced this before, but the phase 2 leads to break up attimes if one of the parties has gone to the xtreme, thanks for sharing and i love your way of writing too
    Jibbyks.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kai, i so enjoyed reading this, i can totally relate, i have experienced this before, but the phase 2 leads to break up attimes if one of the parties has gone to the xtreme, thanks for sharing and i love your way of writing too
    Jibbyks.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very informative and very useful. You have very clearly explained how an intimate relationship is formed and finally it breaks down irreparably. Your suggestion to mend the breaking relationship is extremely useful considering the fact many marriages end in divorce.

    Best wishes

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  4. @Ajibike the phase II is always difficult yo handle...so often times it leads to break up. Thanks for the compliment.

    Mr. JOSEPH thanks for your comment.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice writeup and You hit the nail on the head.

    ReplyDelete

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