Can someone ever get over his/her first love break up? If Yes. When and how can I stop reflecting over the pains I've past through in the break up? Someone asked me this question a couple of weeks ago, I answered her immediately, but I have not been opportune to post it here for others to benefit from it. So with this post, am just going to do that.
If you have once been in a relationship before, you will understand what a first love means. Your first love is that very first person that both of you agreed to share emotional feeling together for the first time. Before the relationship with your first love, nobody has ever won your heart. He/she was just like the first key that opens your heart and mind to relationship.
The Feelings Of First Lovers
As a first timer, you found the whole relationship so strange but over time, you learned. You learned how to love your partner unconditionally, how to trust, how to make sacrifice for him/her and how to respect eachother's view. It got to a time, you believe, your relationship is not just anyhow love...which makes you to assume that, it is a relationship that will make you to spend the rest of your life together with your first love.
Therefore, your started making future plans on how to live together, how to bear children, where to settle as a couple, numbers of kids to bear and how to handle family finances. You just got used to him/her that you hardly make any plan without him been included.
All of the sudden, misunderstanding came up and swept the fun, hope and trust in the relationship to the extent that, non of you can stop it. It took your sometimes to believe that your first love is gone forever. You can't believe the relationship is over, but its real.
Now that you've accepted it's over, you are now scared that you'll never find anyone to ever replace him/her, or maybe you're just afraid that you won't ever be as happy with someone else. If you are experiencing this at this moment, believe me its normal...and I will teach you how to get over your first love and move on.
No matter how difficult.
How Long Does It Takes To Get Over First Love?
This is a big question and the real answer depends on these three Factors:
1) Personality: Some lovers naturally, they can easily think over issues and forget it while some people cannot. Things still remains in their mind for a very long period of time. They needed special efforts to wipe that off.
2) Level Of Commitment: How connected the relationship was before break up play a great role here. If your first love was such an highly committed and down to heart one, you may find it difficult to get over your first love years later. Say 5 years, 10 years and even 20years, it still takes some lovers to get over their first love.
3) Environments and How Busy You Are: It may be easy for you to forget all about your first love or someone who just hurt you because you find yourself in an environment where a lot of people are there for you. Unlike someone who lives in isolation and is less busy. Such kind of person will definitely find reasons to think over and over again about the failed relationship.
How To Get Over First Love Break Up After Years
Getting over first love advice is what everyone usually go for, but I doubt if they work. The only reason why they don't work is because you will not be too strong to follow it as advised. Someone will advise you to disconnect with him permanently, get another lover, delete his contact, never think of him again and all that.
But do those things ever helped guys to get over their first love's break up? No.
I mean NO. This is because those advice are just too harsh and could be difficult for a lover girl/guy that has already placed the source of his joy on the partner.
Then What Are The Working Methods To Get Over my First Love?
Am sure you will love this questions to be answered. That is why am writing this post, and I will answer it. See what to do below:
1) You Don't Need To Totally Disconnect Yourself From Your First Love Immediately: This is what you feel like doing immediately, breaking all communication networks between you two. Do you know that, doing that will hurt you more and its the biggest mistakes ever? Yea.. just just give room for communication but not too much. This is the person you are so much used to and it would be difficult to just cut off immediately without hurting yourself more and more.
2) Always Remember What You Don't Like About Your First Love: After the break up with your first love, for you to be totally in peace with your mind, you need to constantly remind yourself that and this, you don't like about him/her initially.
Remind yourself, how he/she gets annoyed easily, and some other negative attitude in him. Doing this will discourage you, and make you think less about wanting him/her back. This will make you believe he was not even the best for you.
3) Your Life Is Not Over: Some lovers, after experiencing break up, they run to conclusion that, that is the end of their relationship career. Some will even pronounce it that, they will never love again. You don't need to take this path, just ask your friends, your parents, how they got over their first loves. a lot of them will tell you how hard it was to get over them but will also admit that they found greater loves in their lifetime thereafter.
4) Endure The Pain and loneliness With hope: Nothing last forever, so also the pains of firs love break up. It will come and go, though the time depends on how you are able to arrest the situation. Don't succumb to weakness. Retain your pride and hold your head up. There's nothing better than that.
I hope this helps?