Monday, 13 April 2015

How social media destroyed my wedding

This  article  and the whole idea of it occurred to me as a result of my last post on Google + account in one of the community in which am an active member. I used that popular medium  to ask the members on what's their opinion on the negative effect of social media on their relationship. Almost all single comment I got was very pathetic because everyone had one bad story other the other to share.
Its on this note that I decided to compile some of the comment including my personal contribution to write this post.  I may not mention the name of those whose comment would be quoted for personal reason.

To many guys, social media makes them  think girls are disposable items which can easily be replaced by many other women, though most times they ended up not having any serious relationship bcos they were busy jumping from one woman to another.
1) Source of distraction
Among those comments, the first one reads...'' social media caused too many distractions between me and my guy, he paid more attention to what he doesn't  have instead of been grateful for what he already had. He ended up making the relationship became too difficult for me to understand or cope with. At a time I became frustrated  because and I don't give him time any longer and till now I can't confidently say whether we are still in relationship or not be because he is too carried away to even notice am avoiding him.''

Apart from this lady another person`s comment reads ''... I used to see and meet her online on her whatsapp and most times she update her Facebook profile pictures to show her new look. What she actually enjoy most at present is guys' comment on her pictures. she respond so fast to their comments but she never have time to respond to my chat or call since four days ago till this moment.''      
                   
Am only sharing these comments to serve as an hint on how people get distracted unknowingly. Some people unintentionally got out of their most valuable relationship and fell into wrong hands due to their unnecessary attraction for social media. Some ladies are good in using their profile to hurt their lover telling them they are doing perfectly well without them.

2) Private chat evil
The advent of certain applications like whatsapp, BBM, Viber and many more make it more easier to get in touch  with anybody at any time and right not its not too difficult to get in touch with anyone. Most times consistent private chatting with opposite sex put the weak ones on the disadvantaged end. they got easily tempted and make certain errors which they will regret in life time.
As a result of the highly confidential messages in her chat, they find it difficult to release their phone even for a minute for their boyfriend to operate, and even if they reluctantly do, all their mind and attention will always be on the phone till it is given back to them..if a guy apparently  open their chat and see the content of such discussion, she will only implore the guy to came down and give some common excuses like ''its not what you think dear, he is just a friend, he is my ex, just a colleague at work etc, we don't use to see and in fact have never met with him before'' Guys are not exempted in this kind of attitude as well.
 
3) Social media! A sureway to cheating
This is what a lady has to say about this ''...social media makes it very very easy for your partners to start another affairs. They keep in touch with other women behind your back, keeping it secret. keep their phones more guided than a gold and sneak out always to receive and make calls. If you dare tamper with their phone, they may slap you or end the relationship immediately. So also some ladies do.

Some ladies make serious mistake by feeling been in loved or save with the kind of people they are friends with than their partners. Some even derive pleasure in chatting with such friends than engaging their partners in a personal discussion. This attitude makes the guy who cares most about them star becoming less important. Forgetting that this you are dying for online is online keeping is company with you because he is bored and lonely for now. To avoid been trapped in such kind of situation, as a lady you have to screen the types of friends on your social media.

4) Regret
It's very hurt and disappointing to see a promising relationship of years ending because of social media. A man among those who shared their experience about this topic really touched me with his own part of the story which reads as such..." social media is the worst thing that ever happened to my relationship.

I introduced my wife to the internet, and later encouraged her participation on social media to keep her busy. I never know have opened doors for her to Meet other people, and eventually chatting with and meeting them. At the end of 8 years of out wedding, she left me five month ago with our two children to marry the man she met online. most times I wished internet had never exist."

In conclusion, despite the ugly incidence painted by all these previous comments analysed, a lady's comment was in contrary to all these and I totally agree with her own view which was "...social media is a power which can be use in achieving a negative or position mission in life. it all depends on who the power is in his hand, as for me, I always wake up smiling because of the message he leaves me with every night.

Its always so sweet and interested and most times i do respond with good gesture. She further concluded her opinion by saying "I simply love the concept of social media in our lives, because we love each other more than those things, we just use them as a means of getting in touch more easily and often".

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