Monday, 1 June 2015

What gives an happy marital home?

If court wedding, well structured traditional wedding, Muslim Nikai, Church wedding or marriage vow could not guarantee an happy and well living home for couples, what else can make an happy home? Over time I've been seriously worried about the rate of broken home in our society and I keep asking myself why can't expensive or an extravagant wedding result to a long lasting home in for every couple.

It is no longer a surprise to see couples joined by most anointed religious leaders and yet the marriages turn out to be a miserable union in a short period of time.

As important as marriage in both religious and social environment it should not to have been downgraded to this level. No union in the life of human existence which is as valuable as marriage. Marriage is the only culture which is not peculiar to a particular religion groups, race, region or nation because marriage cut across all human existence.

It is just so annoying in this modern age, to note that marriage hardly last before it is led to dissolution due to one reason the other. The rate at which we read and hear about cases of divorce and broken homes in our societies make me ponder over it and make me assume marriage in this era is not complete until it broke down. 

What are those things we are not still getting right and its killing marriages in our society? Are we not all tired of reading about celebrities wedding today and tomorrow about their divorce? This is one of the reasons why I quickly put down my pen and decided to write about the possible cause of unhappy marital home. The following are some of what I assumed could lead to marital break down.
1) Sex and child industry: Today in our societies, many people defined marriage as a means to a legalized intercourse and legitimate to bear children, without given proper consideration to what marriage itself means. In real sense and practice, marriage is much more than what youths perceived it to mean. Marriage is not meant to be assumed as a game which is play to entertain others or oneself. It is a serious investment which must be accurately monitored by the couples and and their parents to be productive. I must tell you that, it goes far far beyond sex, child bearing, dancing and eating as most Nigerians see it.

2) Lack of proper communication: Many marriages broke down due to absolute lack of good communication. Couples and their families have neglected the influence of good communication in building a happy home. No marriage can ever be successful without proper communication and mutual respect between the two. Nothing is as fast as capable of breaking down a family joy like poor communication and mutual understanding. A marriage without communication is like a body without an head. It is a dead union awaiting burial.

3) Failure of religious group:
Almost in every weekend in our community, marriages are consummated in either Churches or Mosques. It is not only the responsibilities of our religious leaders to join new couples, but also to advise, councel and look into the affairs of such marital home they constituted.

By so doing, they are sanitizing our societies which is another role of religion in the community. Any serious religious leader must be bold enough to preach family unity to his congregation and advise them to settle all their odds and misunderstanding in the churches and mosques instead of heading to a customary court where they divorce such a wedding. 

If what we see and respect as the supreme and sacred messengers of God cannot resolve marital conflicts, hence allowing it to be dismantled by court which has no idea of how the wedding was consummated. In conclusion, its takes God, prayers, love, submission, patience, respect, kindness, mutual understanding, trust and forgiveness for any wedding to pass the trial of time. 


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