Friday, 10 July 2015

How to deal with the feeling of having bad luck in relationship

An healthy relationship is meant to be stable, reliable and have a certain level of emotional security. At a point in time, it might be tempting and frustrating when one is going out of one relationship to another for no any clear reason several times. One will begin to think if he or she is the bad luck type, or been cursed or disturbed with spiritual attack.
This post is in response to a mail from this blog reader. With her permission I was meant to share this with everybody to actually know what she is passing through if there is any help they can render. Below is the mail she sent.

"hello adm"
I've been following your blog posts in recent time and i see it to be lovely. Now I decided to send you this mail with the expectation that people will advice me on this. I don't just have a good luck in getting a responsible relationship. Am tired of been dumped to go from one relationship to another for no any tangible reason. Now I will be 30years old by next week and no single responsible relationship that am into. Most times I just have to believe i have bad luck or been cursed. I thought of giving up several times but my mum keep encouraging me, that I just have to be a mother." 

Here are my piece of advice for her...

At every point in time, we should not always believe in luck when it comes to keeping a relationship. It is everybody's responsibility to determine their faith in their relationship arena. It could be that, you are getting things wrong right from the methods you implore in going into those previous relationships. You can always do these two things and you will definitely have a stable relationship in return.

1) Always choose wisely: The fundamental problem of every relationship begins with wrong choice of partners. Most times we make wrong choices in selecting those who we date. Relationship which was solely built on beauty, sexy or money will find it difficult to yield any good thing than heart break and and finally a painful break up.

If after keeping several relationship and things are not still working fine, that does not really mean you are cursed or not having an ill luck. You just have to sit down somewhere and reflect over all those failed relationships. Find out where you are getting it wrong. Are those "Exs" of yours were your real match. Don't hesitate to figure out your own roles in breaking up those relationships. Then, if you are not at fault in anyway, the good.

Instead of giving up, kindly give a proper definition to the kind of person you want in your life. So the next time you are going into any relationship, watch out for those critaria and don't settle for less. With this you will surely choose wisely.

My second and the last advice is...

2) You don't have to give up: People tend to give up on love shortly after little trial. Believe me, there is no time in human existence that his allowed to give up on what he really want. What you need to do is to give up on those beliefs of having "bad luck", "spiritual problem" or been cursed. Guys will always come around, but once you set your standard, you will surely choose wisely next time.

I hope this helps?


  1. Thank you for this advice. I thought u will nt post about it as it took you so long. Thank u

  2. Uthman i think your advice said it all.. In addition be ready physical and emotional before going into a relationship that way you can be sure to know what you want..

  3. I also felt like this few years ago .one thing I will advised is from that thought from your mind that you are cursed. Also watch the kind of guys you date. Don't be too lovey lovey to a guy until you are certain he is very serious about you. You don't have to jump or have sex with every guy.set a standard. Also be prayerful. Dear poster you ain't cursed it's one of those phases in life.

  4. Gloria thanks for the advice emotional factor would also have to be considered as you rightly said.

    Bola had said it all by encouraging her to pray over it. Thanks


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