Thursday, 2 July 2015

How to deal with insecurity in relationship

Insecurity in relationship
If you’ve been in a relationship for a very long time enough. You tend to keep wondering about how secured the relationship is, because you will not only want to be in that relationship forever, but also don't want to break up at last. Most times, there may be little distance between you and you lover either due to commitments or something else. But you will be so worried and feel unsecured.  If you’re feeling unsecured in your relationship, here are a few things that you could do to possibly rid yourself of this worries:

 Don't conclude without evidence
They’re running late and haven’t called you; they must be with someone else. They haven’t been spending much time at home; they probably don’t want to be around you. And so many other scenarios where you don’t even consider any other possibility except for the worst. If they haven’t called, you could call them, and if they aren’t answering maybe they’re driving or something. If they haven’t been spending much time at home it could be because they’ve other things to tend to. Instead of expecting the most terrible, just ask them and stop bothering yourself over nothing.

 Stop creating problems
Insecurities set us off looking for problems that are not even there. If they’re not speaking as much as they used to, you think it’s because they don’t like talking to you anymore. You complain that they have lost interest in you which might possibly result in an unnecessary argument. You tend to pick fights with them for no apparent reason. Anyone would find this annoying and can only put up with it so long. And in due time, the only thing you would’ve achieved by this is, pushing them away.

 Stop been jealous
Jealousy shouldn’t even exist in your dictionary  You both have friends and co-workers from the opposite sex. Regardless of how attractive they are, your partner’s relationship with them is strictly platonic. And you should understand that rather than constantly worrying yourself over it. Trust your partner to uphold the sanctity of your relationship.  Talk about your fears  Rather than keeping your fears to yourself and allowing them to grow, pour them out to your partner. This will keep you from acting rashly on your fears and save you from damaging your relationship in any way. Don’t be afraid to let everything out, they won’t judge you. Relationships enable you to be your true-self at least in front of your partner. They’d love you despite your insecurities. They could actually help you get over them.

 Don't face the problem alone
Make friends, hang out with them. Go see your family. No couple can be together every single minute. We all need our space. When they’re not with you, it gives you a chance to be with yourself most importantly and also with other people in your life. This helps you get your mind off your partner and their whereabouts and activities. And as long as you’re not thinking about what they would be doing in your absence, there will be no insecurities.  Switch focus from the negative to the positive  No relationship is perfect.

 The two of you aren’t perfect, so you can’t expect your relationship to be perfect either. You’re going to have to constantly make it better. Instead of complaining about what’s missing, start focusing on the good things. They love you, they treat you well, and they prioritize you and make time for you. These are only a few of the many things they must be doing for you. 

Appreciate their efforts
Also reflect on what you’re doing to make the relationship stronger and what more can you do. If you keep expecting the worst, it will eventually find its way to you. Start being positive. Don’t focus on the million things that could go wrong; instead focus on the things that could go right and make them happen. Trust your partner. Love them unconditionally. Have faith in yourself to face the difficulties in your relationship. And finally don’t let your fears ruin what could be potentially the best thing that could ever happen to you!


  1. I met a friend in secondary school, we've been in a serious relationship for 7yrs. I never thought of break up because we were too close. One day I visited her without informing her. As I landed only to see her in a battle with one old grand ma. Since then our relationship begun to experience insecurity because my eye couldn't believe what it saw in the battle.

    Should I continue with this relationship or breakup. Any body reading my story i need your advice please help out.

  2. Sam thanks for visiting here. Insecurity in relationship becomes so obvious when you notice your partners with infidelity. It makes you believe they are no longer yours. Especially when little brother happen, u will always attribute it to cheating. Generally, it is just difficult to trust them again.

    As to whether to breakup, that is a matter of choice, matter of how much you can still trust her. If u can't trust her anymore kindly move out.

  3. Which kind battle, but whatever the case may be it is a matter of trust again.but if am the one na to move out. No time

  4. Sometimes it is nor actually insecurity, but the fact that your partner isn't just trustworthy. But these men are quick to call you insecure instead of fixing the problem from their own angle

  5. STOP BEING JEALOUS!!!! Papi, honestly, I have had to deal with jealous friends and a jealous ex...Jesus! It was the worst situation I had to deal with that season.

    This was nicely written Papi.


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