Saturday, 25 July 2015

Reasons why you should stop comparing yourself with others

Until you appreciate who you are, you will never be satisfied with what you have. Most of the frustrated people life's experience have heard was as a result of  unhealthy comparisons of their lives with that of others in the aspect of what they should do, who they should be, and how they should live their own life.

The best way to feel ungrateful and unsecured in life is to keep comparing yourself with others. Doing this for several years has always left me with the feelings of unhappiness about everything I do.  All those years of worries, was actually caused by myself because I had referred to what others had set as the ideal standard which I should strive for. This was completely wrong of me.

What most people do fail to know is that, they are different from somebody else. Created in a unique forms and in their own special ways. So there is little point trying to draw comparisons between you, your life, your friends, your family, your partners with everyone else. Been yourself, has always been the best you can be to succeed in life.

Any body who keep having an incessant need to compare him/herself with others, and find it difficult to stop, its an indication that such person is probably insecure or unsatisfied about his talent.

Though, making some fair comparison can be good in achieving a certain level of improvement in life, but it becomes unhealthy when you make reference to others' lives as a molding standard for yourself.

Changing yourself just to conform with what others are doing without paying regards to your own personal integrity. Doing this will not only left you unhappy but capable of getting you discouraged to achieve a your goal.
Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself  With Others

When I was faced with this problem of wrong comparison, there are three things which helped me to recover soon as possible. I used the word recover because to me, it was a sickness that needed an urgent attention.

1)  Know who you are: Your ability to know yourself is the starting point of appreciating yourself above others. This will go a long way in making you search and develop more of your inbuilt talent than molding your life to suit another standard set by someone else, who you have no knowledge of the basis for which he decided to live a such life. You will always be focused about your personal brand and nothing else. Read: How I quit my job to pursue my passion.
My experience:
When I started blogging, it was my habit comparing my blog with that of others in terms of traffic, post commenting and the number of post per day. After several months of doing this, blog comparisons mostly proved to be nonconstructive for me. It always make me feel demotivated whenever I saw others with blogs that are doing better than mine in those three areas, because it made me feel like I was doing something wrong. It would also make me feel panicky, apprehensive, and doubtful about my place in the blogging world.  

Few months ago, I met a friend like a brother who is a professional blogger ( Abba Talba). He made understood that I was making such comparisons because I wasn’t confident about my blog’s success. Through our conversation. I got to know that it is pointless to base my success on how others do. Honestly, since when I stopped doing this, I've experienced tremendous improvement in what I do, because am not only applying it to blogging, but to every aspect of my lifestyle.
So try to know yourself and don't measure your performance with that of others in your field. Read: My experience with long distance relationship.

2)  You are different and unique: If you understand this concept, you will surely know that, there is little point in trying to compare yourself with others, especially in areas that are not meant to be compared. You can't compare yourself with others in  the aspect of your  life, your goals, your values, your height, your weight, your race, your body, your looks/beauty, and any other personal things. 

If you recognize the uniqueness in you and others, then there is no point in comparing yourself or your life with other people’s lives, because each of us has our unique life path that is ours to create and ours to follow. There is no need to feel compelled to live a life that is just like someone else’s, because you are different from that particular person.

3) Be the best version of yourself: Bear it in mind that you want to create your unique life path and excel in your own best way not because you want to be a photocopy of someone's else. Feel free to let yourself be inspired by others, but don’t lose your determination and uniqueness.

The biggest, and only, source of competition in life is yourself. Compete with your personal self and make a fair comparison of your immediate past with the present, that will help in determining whether you are making progress or not. If you noticed any improvement, that is what it means to be an excellent person.

I hope this helps?

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  1. Lovely piece. kudos.

  2. When you start comparing people's success to yours, it makes room for frustration to set in.everybody is unique in its own way and we both have our timing.
    Instead of comparing we should focus on making yourself better than them.

  3. Great insight... Thanks for sharing.


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