Monday, 20 July 2015

The Causes And The Effects Of Divorce In Our Society

Unlike before, divorce is now a global phenomenon because of the alarming rate with which marriages collapse. On weekend basis, couples are joined together in our Churches or Mosques across the country while divorce is a daily occurrence. This means the more wedding ceremonies  are attended on a weekly basis, then, the more marriages collapse and the numbers of divorces increases.

What do we mean by divorce? or let me say break up in marriages? Or dissolution of marriage? All these are different words that simply mean the same thing, which is the final termination of a marital union, cancelling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage/togetherness and finally dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a husband and a wife.

Situation of divorce in Nigeria before now
Before this present generation. the value and respect attached to that great institution of marriage had not been compromised; it was a very respected sacred union, which no or family one will want to tampered with. It was more or less like a taboo to the society. So then, if a couples could get married, it was expected to last as long as their lives is in existence, and back then, marriage was known as for better, for worse. This was possible because of the mechanism they used to rescue marriages before resorting to divorce.

In recent time, where civilization is at its peak, and a large portion of it is imported to our land. That valuable marital institution in Africa started to experience serious setbacks. Such a Holy union has now been seen as something that anyone can hurriedly run into today, and run out tomorrow without any special consideration. Though factors lead to divorce are ranging from:

1) Extravagant wedding: The evil of extravagant wedding in Nigeria is an invincible factor that has the greatest chance of creating unhealthy atmosphere in the marital homes. This is because so many couples will have to go outside their means to make sure they organize what is termed as a befitted wedding without considering the effect on their marital homes.

2) High Expectations: Most couples got it wrong right from the planning stage of who is an ideal person for them to marry, they keep in mind several high expectations. Some guys will only search for a beautiful, hardworking, home making, submissive, religious, and everything in only one woman. So after marriage when things does not work in that direction, divorce comes in.

3) Telling of Lies and false marriage: So many couples were joined together on a deceitful foundation. A poor guy could pretend been rich or living a fake life in order to win a lady's heart and at the end of the day, soon after the wedding, the whole thing will get expose and resorted to break up because the lady cannot just cope with the reality of his life.

The negative effects of divorce can now be easily seen in our society. The future of so many potential youths has been ruin as a result of broken home. The effect of which still burned down to the society, because sociologically, an individual problem inevitably becomes a societal problem at large. Most of those abandoned children are affected psychologically often throw then into emotional trauma and left them with the feelings of  ''nobody cares about us''.

Remembering the old good days
Honestly, we are no longer what we were. I can't seem to forget so soon the incidence I personally witnessed while I was a bit young and was still staying in the family house in those days. Couples hardly resort to divorce when there is any misunderstanding, instead they report back to the family head or religious leader who in return proffer a possible and everlasting solution to their problems. They were never been left out in the matter affecting the marriages they consummated.

As this problem continue unchecked, I keep asking myself that, what are the roles of these religious houses in preventing the marriages they consummated from been collapsed? Can we just conclude that they are only good in joining couples and care not about what happened thereafter? What about the family's role? what happened to the expected efforts from the both families from which the couples come? I grew up to know that, parents are not only saddled with the responsibility of providing pre-marital counseling to their children but also must ensure things go down well even after the marriage. Now who is playing that role again?

Right from when couples started feeling insecurity in their marriage, parents, religious leaders and other stakeholders should come into their rescue and proffer a possible solution to it through an effective communication which most new couples lack. Though divorce comes up due to so many reasons as I've highlighted, but lack of effective communication has taken most of my words because it is the prevalent factor that has caused a lot of marriages in Nigeria. 

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  1. Good points! d xtravagant part is okay wen u have d money. I hate it wen people borrow to throw a lavish wedding just to go hungry later.

  2. This is so on point. I have been privileged to talk to some families whose marriages are going through challenges and most of the points they raised is shocking.. This is a nice one.. Permission to share someday.

  3. Yea...when you have the money. But often time people don't put that into considerations. Precious Thanks for stopping bye.

  4. Gloria thanks for your interest in people's lives...permissions granted.

  5. Another point you should put there is intolerable behaviour :if couple cannot tolerate each other or one party exhibit an intolerable behaviour which the other cannot live it. He or she will use it as a ground for dissolution of marriage.

    I did a post on dissolution of marriage on my blog. But am too lazy to share the

    1. Thanks for the contribution. Try as much as possible to get it shared, you never can tell how this will affect people's lives positively.

  6. Well detailed. Thumbs up.


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