Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Why first love has never be the real love?

If you've ever read a first love story, you will wonder why it is so much interesting. I think the reason such stories are always so touching is because there is something so powerful about young love experience. It happens when our hearts are still innocent and pure but unfortunately, it always end with that inevitable heart.

 As I woke up today to receive several best wishes messages with regards to first day of the month from families and friends, what actually comes to my mind was how I ended my first love, this is because it is indeed only real love that is capable of making people all round the world to be exchanging pleasantries for witnessing another new month.

 Is first love a real love?
To most of us, falling in love for the first time seems entirely involuntary because it was something we never planned for. Unfortunately, that initial feeling of falling in love has a short lifespan. Not because it’s impossible to truly love someone for the rest of your life, but because those feelings you’re experiencing aren’t really love. They are the result of the colossal changes in your life and your perspective that resulted from falling in love.

Falling in love changes the way you see the world. It changes the things you deem important and changes your visions of your future – all because you found a person you believe worthy of dedicating your life to.  So when that initial feeling of bliss fades, which it will, you’re likely to worry that the love is fading… but it’s not. It’s settling into a resting state. This often scares the life out of us. We go from being high up in the clouds to crashing back down to earth, back down to reality.  This is why most relationships fail:

I remember how my first love story ended, I got into the scene of love when I found her worthy of winning my love and we both fell in love. After making more commitment to the relationship we so much respected because of the value it brought to our lives. Gradually we started seeing things not going down well again as we expected. We observed the love was not really interesting as we started it and we both are no longer the same person we thought we were, and we are not working towards been the person we wanted  to be. This actually marked the beginning of that very inevitable break up.

The trauma
It was so difficult to cope thereafter, I felt how others feel when they break up with their first love. Perhaps nothing is ever quite as painful as getting over your first love . It's not just any love . You thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together. You made plans for the future to live together or go to college together. All in my memory then, was the best time we spent together in Kaura Namoda, a local government in Zamfara state where we schooled. I never thought we can survive a day without each other. Then that it was over, I was scared that I'll never find anyone to ever replace her again or maybe I was just afraid that I won't ever be as happy with someone else.
But over time, I passed over it, and became strong again and presently in love with my real love who I found four years after that painful break up.

No regret
As they always say, no relationship is ever a mistake if you can get something out of it, such as learning something new about yourself. You might learn that you are indeed a very stubborn person so this might be the opportunity to change yourself for the better and to become a more open-minded person. You might also learn that you are a very jealous lover, in which case you can take steps to becoming a less jealous boyfriend or girlfriend You will heal with time, but it willnot happen overnight. Just too many wonderful things that I learnt in that relationship which will never make me regret it. I love my one and only fiancee  but I keep wondering why first love is such an illusion that hardly work out. For most people. Or do you have a similar or contrary opinion to this?


3 comments:

  1. When I look back at my first love, I can't help asking myself what I was thinking back then. But then,twas my world.
    I guess our taste in men or women changes as we grow so most times, the first love isn't the real deal.

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  2. Yea...its not really the real love. Many people have similar story about first love.

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  3. Hello, I’m new to your blog and I’m enjoying your blog post website. I love the realness of your topics. I enjoyed this post about first loves. I totally agree with you. When your young and in love which can be puppy love. Sometimes you just don’t know what to expect and now that I’m older, I view love in a more different way. Overall insight post.

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    Miss Poetic Butterfly

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