Sunday, 2 August 2015

Easy ways to cope with a difficult mother-in-law

How to deal with my mother in law
Mother-in-law
We all deserve a loving and peaceful lifestyle as a couple - it makes us feel good and have a wonderful family. But often times, it becomes so difficult when you have a hurtful mother-in-law.
She can easily got you hurt and be against almost everything you do in your own family. If you allow this to continue for a very long time,
it can permanently destroy the happy home you intended building with your marriage.

The following are ways to cope with your difficult mother-in-law

1) Correct your wrong impression about who a mother-in-law is: I've witnessed so many situations where single ladies of nowadays were praying never to meet their mother-in-laws alive by the time they are about to marry.

It's their beliefs that mother-in-laws are always obstacles to build an happy home. Majority of them say this prayer forgetting that some day, they will also become a mother-in-law to someone else, who will wish them death. So for peace to reign as you are getting married, change your impression about her.

2) Understand the problems: If you come in, and she finally becomes the problem you foreseen. Now, first thing to do is to understand her problem. Do you think she just hate you for nothing? Could it be that she want her son to marry someone else instead of you? Or she find it difficult to understand how you do your things in your own ways?

Sometimes, her negative attitudes towards you may be hurtful but it just out of jealousy, not that she want her son to send you out of his life. That's why you have to be kind and gentle with her. So, it will do you real good, if you understand her and what her problem is before you declare war against her.

3) Show her you are comfortable with her: Don't present yourself like someone who married her son to snatch him away. Let her know you are comfortable with her. Try as much as possible to be compassionate, she is likely to be a good and gentle woman.

It's just possible she is suffering from not being able to enjoy those special moment with her son anymore since you came in. So don't declare her as your enemy yet, because if you do, your brother and sister in laws will not appreciate that. That can easily destroy your happy home.

4) Discuss it with your husband: Whether you are able to find out the reasons why she treat you that way or not. You can easily share this feelings with your man. Tell him how his mother treats You, express your dissatisfaction about it.

Am not telling you to criticise her, or insult her while talking about it with your man. Politely, remind him of some instances where she maltreated you. Tell him you will appreciate him, if he can talk to her on your behalf without making her feel you reported her. Don't make mistake of telling your friends instead of your husband.

5) Distance yourself physically and emotionally from her: If after you had followed the first four steps and no changes. Therefore, you need to detach yourself emotionally from her deeds. Don't take her words or actions down to heart. Feel free to believe she is in error and you don't have to take anything personal about her.

Physically, you need to keep avoiding her. You don't need to be present at all family event. Do not always be alone with her. If by accident, you found yourself in a particular place with her, kindly get up and go to your room, kitchen or just lay your hand on something else to leave that place.

If you treat and respect her well enough, she can become a powerful helper in your LIFE, as well as a wonderful support backbone of your marriage. But is is your duty to make that happened.

I hope this helps?

Sharing is caring... kindly share this for others.


Happy Married Life to Kareema Abdulkareem, as we were all there yesterday to celebrate you as you step into new life.
At Da wedding




5 comments:

  1. Even though mine died even before I met hubby, I've heard a lot of terrible stories about mothers-in-law. I pray those who may be in this situation find this piece useful
    alabekee.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Lest I forget, HML to Kareema and his beautiful bride.

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    2. Thanks so much for the wishes.

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  2. You know this issue of mother in law and in laws has recently given me night mare. My mother in law is not giving me problem in my marriage but I am not really free with her or anyone in the family. What really broke camels back was when she lied that I don't check up on her, she is also in the habit of supporting her other children and not support my hubby. Anyways, I have no issues with her, I had already applied rule 5 to everyone of them. Lolz

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    Replies
    1. Applying that is just the best...atleast no offense done.

      Delete

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