Sunday, 23 August 2015

How To Deal With The Fear Of Failure

Though, we live in a society that places a high emphasis on best performance and great achievement. Yet, we've once all fail at one thing or the other...and often times when we are unable to achieve a certain goal, we tend to term ourselves as been a failure without thinking of the previous achievements we've made in life. 

The fear of failure is what is common to every students and its natural. We all want to write exam and pass, achieve a certain level of CGPA and graduated with a particular class of degree. The moment we are unable to meet up with this, the feeling of been a failure comes in. This fear seems to have characterized the whole activity we called EXAM in recent time. 

The fear of failure is what makes you become uncomfortable when your lecturer comes into the class and order everyone to tear a sheet of paper, do away with his notes and take a test. Your mind get discouraged by fear, you lose your confidence and your palm become sweaty within some minutes, all in the name of fear. The moment the question paper got down to your table, your mind go blank for some minutes. 

At that moment, what comes to your mind is the fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of not making it, fear of performing below expectation and of course, fear of been called a failure. All these thought will occupy your mind, and put more tension in you. 

This post is instigated by the result of the candidates who took the University Of Ilorin's Pre admission screening exam. The exam which majority of the candidates failed to meet up with the average point to qualify for provisional admission into the school. Failure in that exam is what I attributed to nothing but ''The fear of failure''.

Majority of these candidates sat for that special exam under various forms of fear. Fear of what would be the  nature of the exam, fear of waiting at home for another one year if they fail, fear of not getting a university education which they think is a must,  while few of these candidates could said to have been under the pressure of their parents who insisted that they must not fail the exam. 

Read: How I quit my job to pursue my passion

Most of the students I trained who failed the exam confessed that their failure was as a result of tension and fear. To the extent that, even before getting to the exam hall, they've almost accepted themselves to be a failure.

So if you have been feeling terrible about yourself. Either some stuff have been making you feel like a failure in life. I want to tell you that, you are not alone in this problem. With this post,  I will to share some helpful tips to aid you through this feeling.

1) Always remember your first success: As human been on earth, we all have a common first victory. Before we were all born, we were in the biggest competition. Despite all the difficulties involved, we actually won that competition, and that's why we live today. 

We were among the millions of sperms competing to fertilize only one egg. We struggled and finally made it, leaving more than the 200millions sperms cells behind. Indeed, this was our first common victory.

Whenever you feel like a failure, remind yourself of how you made it then, even without knowledge of your destination. If you can make it then, it means no matter who you are, or what you do on this earth, you are definitely not a failure.

2) Nobody gets all he wanted: Never think yourself to be too perfect. Don't assume is a must to meet all the standards you've set so far. If you are unable to meet up with a job, a school's or even your own personal standard, it means you are imperfect, and it doesn't mean you are a failure. 

Don't feel too bad because you are unable to meet up with certain expectation, just believe you have to try harder next time. And don't make the wrong assumption that everybody get all what he wanted.

3) You don't have to compare yourself with anybody: Don't assumed yourself to be a failure because someone else did what you are unable to. You don't condemn the ability of a Lion because he can't fly like a bird. We all know it to be a genius, even though is not a flying type. 

One of the students I trained came back to tell me that, he can't still know why he failed the exam and his friend made it. Because she thought her friend almost all what she learnt from me, and her friend made and she could not. 

I only told her that, everyone is unique in his own way, and we may not use the same approach to achieve the same result because of our differences. So think of better and productive ways to do your things instead of comparing yourself with others. 

4) Things will soon be alright: There is always chance for improvement, improvement in effort, improvement in result and in everything about us. Even though we've tried our best this time and failed, doesn't mean things will not change for the best.

I don't know what you are going through presently. All I believe and I want you to know is that things will get better. Don't just give up and decide not to to try again, allow yourself to try more time. I challenge you today to pick up the pieces, and move on with confidence.

Never take yourself for a failure, because you are unable to meet certain standards. You, may think things are not working out good for you this time. I beg you don’t just give up hope, don't give up trying and one day, you will surely make it.

I hope this helps?

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  1. Thank you for sharing words of wisdom.

    1. You are welcome brother. Thanks for your comment .

  2. Great and inspiring points.. Plus it's better to try and fail than not to try atall.. People limit themselves just because they don't want to leave their comfort zone..

  3. Replies
    1. Thinks will surely be alright...just that people do find it difficult to believe. Thanks.

  4. Yayy! It's always good to keep pushing even after we fail at some point because things will soon be alright. Great Post Uthman

  5. This is just my best post on this blog. It got me so emotional. I love the last point. God bless

  6. Its so hard dealing with failure especially when it keeps coming incessantly.
    I guess thinking about our first victory in the womb should be enough to motivate us


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