Monday, 10 August 2015

How to make your children obey your wish without argument

Training your kids
Students under teacher's order in school
Any parent who is not taking a total control of his house is not worthy of given order to the children. AS such, the lines of authority can easily become mistaken. Do you know that when your children are unsure about who's really in charge, they can assumed themselves to be above you as their parent and turn extremely bossy.

Have you ever wonder why your children will simply obey their teachers' instructions at school but come back home to disobey you? At the end of the day, you will end up compelling or begging them because you are not in the right position to command them on what to do. This is a sign that you’ve completely lost control.      

When I was very young, my mum used to be in charge of everything about my life. She make all decisions, control all my daily activities and organize things for their household. She was very good in supervising my behavior and decide what was appropriate and what was not for me to do. Then I hardly complain of anything because it was my belief, that her opinion was the best. I can say that was the best time in life when I was so obedient to her.  

The whole story changed when I noticed the signs of adolescence in me. At that period of time, I felt it was the best time for me to be independent. Though it was not as a result of my lack of respect for parental authority, but because I felt I should be able to handle things myself without or little supervision. So I wanted to be the boss of myself and often time I will say “ Mummy please stop telling me what to do all the time, I can do it!”. 

This I believe happens to all children of my age as of then. This is when many kids think their rights in the family is equal to their parents’ rights. Unfortunately, many parents do fail to control their children at this stage, forgetting that, this is the time to take full charge of the child. At this time, if you don't establish yourself clearly as being in control, it will become too difficult in future.

While raising your children, it is important to bring them up with some level of independence. They should be able to think and take certain decisions themselves but they should not dictate for you as their parent. There must be issues where you have to be in charge and decide for them with authority, while in some others you let them participate. 

In a audible tone, you can say to your child, “Look here, I'm in charge in this area and it’s not a subject of debate or argument. We can talk about things, but I have the final say-so and that's the way it has to be.

Don't misunderstand me, Children also have some rights to decide on the issues that are not going to affect their security, health, education and their well being. Here are just the two things to do, in order to let your child obey you.

1) Take some certain decisions alone: Like I discussed above, there are some certain cases where you don't need to seek their permissions before you take decisions on their behave. Like my mum will say, you don't need to complain about this because I won't change my mind, and that's all.  She was the type that don't negotiate with us right after a crucial decision is made. That really go a long way in helping us believing in her, and accepted that she was in charge and we have to just follow her anytime she felt.

2) Negotiate with your kids about some issues: It's good for your child to have a say on some issues. Try to seek for their opinions, and let them contribute to how certain affairs about their life should be ran. You can let them decide which course they would like to study in the university, where they want to spend their summer breaks and what nature of clothes they needed for festivity. 

Mum made it known to us, that we have the right to present our view to her as long as we express what we want appropriately. She was not always right neither was she a dictator, she only understood how children behave at this stage and handle us as such.

Implementing the first one is more difficult, because for you to act like a boss to your children at home at this stage, it always seem impossible. So start it today, though it's not going to be easy and the children will not take it easy. They are used to making decisions for you. Trying to make any change like this in family would be faced with a lot of challenges but hold firm, and know that you’re doing the best thing for your family.

I hope this helps?

Kindly share for others.

6 comments:

  1. Nice post, it's so frustrating sometimes when children starts acting like adults.

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  2. Will save this till i starts having kids..



    www.trendwithgloria.com

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  3. Woow! This piece will really help me in bringing up my kids. It's always good to seek the children's opinions atimes. Nice tips
    www.alabekee.com

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  4. Very useful tips. I hope my mum reads. Lolz


    Bolateethole.blogspot.com

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  5. No kids, just cats, and they're challenge enough.

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