Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Steps On How To Resolve Family Conflict


No institution is as well respected as the family institution. The nature of members of any family and the love they share for one another are all natural. When one single member is emotionally down in the family circle, it affect almost everyone. That is why some people concluded that, family is an institution from God and goes far beyond our own making.

Yet, conflict is said to be inevitable among families, and the ways families choose to resolve conflict matters most. Any family who peacefully resolve conflict its members will live happier since they understand one another differences.

The other family who leave its conflict  unresolved, is at the risk of leading the family to destruction. This is because members harboring anger, growing resentful and trying to force other family members to take sides with them. This will finally divide the family.

My experience with family conflict
No doubt you all know that we have the most intense conflicts at home, within our family, with the people closest to us. They are the conflicts that bring us the most pain, make us suffer, and distress us. 

When I was young back then, in our house in Kaduna, we had this troublesome couple as a neighbor who always engage each other in a serious fight at home, but whenever they start this, their children will look sober and remain emotionally down.

This experience made me understand that, conflicts at home are the most challenging to face because it’s so easy to be held hostage by your own emotions.

Tips To Resolve A Family A Problem

You don't need to allow conflict to tear your family apart, no matter what really happened, you can't afford to lose someone you naturally love.

I know you've not be able to forgive, forget or even speak to a relative because of a disagreement, Please kindly consider the following tips in solving your differences.

1) Find out the real cause of the conflict again: You really need to uncover what the issue is all about and its cause and why are you so much annoyed about it.

You can’t make any progress until you get to the bottom of of the conflict, to know when and how it all began. You must go deep into yourself, and clarify what the conflict is really about for you. 

There is possibility that, you think the fight is about a specific issue, but in reality is completely about something that lies at a deeper level. So, what is it? Get clarity, and you will be able to come up with the real problem.

2) Hear out the other person's story: After getting your own point, then try to hear the other person’s side of the story and make an effort to understand why he/she acted that way.

Try not to judge the whole thing; instead, evaluate the problem from both sides and try to examine your own role in the feud.

After this, do you think you are as innocent as you claimed to be? Was there anything you did to contribute to the problem. Do you hurt him without apology?

Did you promise something and failed to fulfill? Keep in mind the other person probably has some valid points that you need to weigh and consider.

3) Consider the effects of the conflict on the rest of the family: Most times when parents engaged themselves in conflict, children suffers it. So you need to consider if there other family members who this will affect negatively if you refused to settle it on time.

Happiness is not all about you alone, remember you’re part of a big family. Do you think they don’t deserve to enjoy been in happy family?
 If you keep fighting your man as a wife, how do you think your decision is helping or affecting your children and what message are you passing across?

My mum will always say, I would not have tolerated this mess if not because of my children. I think everybody should imbibe this act. 

4) Choose to forgive: In a family settings, forgiveness is not optional, you have to choose it. Keeping grudges with any family member will only eat you up inside and cause more family problem. So try to forgive as soon as possible, and if you are in error, you just have to apologize and seek for forgiveness.

Note: I forgot to tell you, you just have to make the move and resolve the problem. The family member who first makes the move, would be respected. Be willing to compromise and be the family hero.


  1. Interesting post, thanks for sharing!
    Kisses, Paola.


    My Facebook

    1. Paola you are welcome...have a pleasant day ahead

  2. In marriage, to resolve a conflict first accept responsibility were necessary and never involve a third party.

    1. Involving a third party could be dangerous if wrong people are involved. Thanks

  3. There is no marriage without conflicts, but what matters is how the people involved are able to settle their misunderstandings when they occur.

  4. So true. I used to find it hard to forgive but ever since i understand the nature of marriage, forgiving is just as simple as ABC

    1. Following the ethics of your profession, you may wish to always resolve conflict through the legal means...but thank God you've developed the act of forgiving.

  5. Great blog!
    Would you like to support each other by following each other´s blog? ^_^

    Et Omnia Vanitas

  6. Compromise is very important in resolving conflict and this comes with understanding and humility.
    Great piece.

    1. Yea Ugo...its important to compromise for conflict to be settled. Thanks.

  7. In as much as one can not be an island,one must thread conflict often times turn worst but with the guideliness above,it could be prevented

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