Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Can A Man And A Woman Be "Just Friends" With Each Other?

Let me start this post with a serious question you need to answer before you continue reading the remaining part of the post. In your own view, can a man and a woman be friends?..Am sure some of you will say NO, while majority will say ''Why not''?

Supposed everyone here answered NO, I would have stop this post and and click publish button. Since some are still wondering why not. Let me ask them further, why do you think they can be friends?

Smiling...If you are a lady, I'm so sure your response would be like "Men are such a good people to be friends with. They make great friendship. So if we are opportune to meet someone with whom we enjoy discussing with, spending time, sharing our interests with, why should we ignore the possibility of having that person in our lives just because of genders discrimination? Vice versa for the male counterpart.

Real Life Scenario
This was a  topic of discussion last night in my compound. We did not just decided to come up with such a debate anyway.  Something serious happened that scared almost everyone. A neighbor (A married man), was after another young single guy with a machete and his intention was to injure this young man to a point of comma.

Thank God for smartness of this young guy, and the timely intervention of men around (excluding me, I ran away) who later arrested the situation. The married man claimed that, he had warned this young man time without number to terminate his friendship with his own wife ( mother of two).

And he had warned his wife and even reported the case to the nearest police station. This is because in his ideology, a man and woman cannot be just friends. So, he don't wanna see him around his family again.
After the whole thing was down, I came out of my hidden place and we started discussion (That's what am good at) about the man's point of view. So these are some of the various opinions I gathered from our discussion.

Man Can Be Friends With Woman

A woman presented her view and claimed to have been in a friendship with men since her secondary school days and till now they are still very good and intimate friends and her husband has never complain...Read her:

Since my secondary school I have always enjoyed my friendships with different good men. Though, some of them came with a demand for love affairs. while some developed interest in love thereafter, but many had nothing to do with love, sex or attraction at all. And up till now I still keep a particular one which is presently my best friend.  

She concluded her argument believing that; that men can carry a pure and healthy friendship with women, free from any other kind of thought. As against the angry man's perception.

Majority insisted that, a man cannot be friend with a woman

They just believed that, a man can never be just friends with a woman because attraction gets in. Claiming that, in general it is impossible for women to have real friendship with men.

This is because as the friendship develops, men will want something more than just a friendship situation.  They would want to extend the relationship to a romantic level. 

A woman said something so funny to support her point. She said, To most women, a friendship is more about having trust and confidence in someone she can actually talk to.

That's why when she says she needs a hug from a male friend, she simply just wants a hug and nothing more. However, when a man says he wants a hug, he definitely have other motives in mind unknown to us. So such kind of people cannot be friend with.

Finally, as a man I feel it’s impossible to be very intimate friends with women, most especially when we find them attractive and spend time with them always. However, I feel that if both men and women want to be friends, they can, but they need to have trust in each other and define their relationship at the beginning.

So we all warned the young guy to desist from the angry man's family and cut off any form of friendship with his wife. Otherwise, his life is at danger. Or what's  your opinion?


  1. A woman can be friends with a man and like you say define the friendship. I have some male friends and the friendship still intact..

    1. Wow! Gloria its good to know that. that means you guys have actually defined the relationship earlier on?

  2. I see nothing absolutely wrong with a woman being friends with a man as long as there is nothing more to it apart from ordinary friendship.

  3. your level of exposure matters

  4. The problem lies when you get too close especially if you are a married woman, forget, you might get carried away. At times we feel, it's mere friendship but it's not always like that. Not because you planned it that was but it just happens.

    No matter who you are being friends with, one needs to be careful so you don't cross the line. Biko what kinda close friendship does a married woman have with a man? What happened to being friends with your hubby? Not nice

    I cherish friendship a lot as well and I have very close male friends but I don't know what will happen after marriage. All will be well sha!!!


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