Thursday, 3 September 2015

How To Stop Feeling Lonely Without A Lover

How to cope with Loneliness in relationship
From my own experience, the word loneliness has nothing to do with whether you are still single or in a relationship. One can be in a relationship and feel very lonely, just as you can be single and not feel lonely.

Don’t be surprised to see people who are attached and still feel highly neglected in their relationships. Even though they are with someone, they appear worse off than when they were single. So also, you can see people who are single but feel perfectly at ease with themselves, never once feeling like they are in a place of lack. They will never feel lonely despite being alone.

This means that loneliness is a natural mood you feel when you felt nobody is just around to talk or share your thought with. I never feel lonely all my life, not just because I was always in love, but because I developed how to deal with it.

Though, there will always be a time in life when one will feel a little empty; one will wished he/she had someone in his/her life. You will see two lovers, and feel you have someone to be care and be cared for.
Especially when you think of happy married couples, you will feel happy for them, and wished you will be in their position anytime soon. Unfortunately, if you continue to drill into this kind of wish, you will find out that you become so desperate for love. 

My personal experience with loneliness

There was a time when I found out that, I was going deeper in admiring those who are in love with one person or the other. I later realized that this desire was as a result of me thinking it’s the responsibility of someone to make me happy. This resulted in the emptiness of my feeling. 

I then later thought that, what if I got someone who presently is the source of my joy. That means I would become dependent on her to always be there for me. What if am to break up with her in the nearest future, definitely the feeling of loneliness will be back again? Then I saw a good reason, to make myself happy instead of building my happiness on someone else.

The following are what I did to deal with loneliness without a partner: 

1)     I Opened My Heart To Everyone:  The question of whether you will feel lonely or not still burn down to the kind of people in your life and how you interact with them. The moment I discovered this, I began to open my heart to others and get out there to make new connections with new people.
I also recognized that there is no need to find love by force because Mr. A was already having a working relationship. I believed love is everywhere around us, it just depends on how we perceived it.

You will never see this if you are facing one side to find love. Right from the time I understood this, I stopped feeling those moments of loneliness in my life.

2)     I started seen completeness in myself and in my ability: In the past, I was so desperate to get someone, just because I believed it was only in her that I can actually find joy. But when I became competence of myself, I started to see and feel completeness as an individual, instead of looking forward to meeting someone who will make me happy.

3)    I worked on my self – confidence:  Do you know that lack of self-confidence can actually make you feel lonely? You have to appraise yourself worth and develop confidence on yourself and your ability.

You don’t need to feel self-conscious whenever you are out with people. Just behave normal, and don’t be intimidated with your friends who are out there with their partners. You just feel it’s normal. As a human being, you tend to feel lonely when you think your own situation is abnormal.

4)     I expanded by social circle: I think this was the major reason why I created so many social profiles. I joined Facebook, Twiter, LinkedIn, BBM, Whatapp, Viber, 2go, Google+ and many other more.

Through these medium, I made new friends and develop stronger friendships with my existing friends. This really helped me in dealing away with the feeling of loneliness. And I was never in rush to get into any relationship, just to make me happy.

With my experience, I believed, I do not need any relationship, to complete myself, or to make me an happy person in life because I‘m already a complete person.


  1. This post is not for me Uthman oooo

    1. As per say na married woman right... alright. no p

  2. I totally agree with you that you can be in a relationship and be lonely so so true.. It once happened to me..

  3. Replies
    1. Smiling...That's serious anyway. Thanks for the comment

  4. Useful info for the singles

  5. Sometimes loneliness is good for the mind and brain to expand..... Even when one finds the right patner,when uou expct muchg and u dont get it,lonliness tends to creep in

    Glowyshoe blog


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