From my own experience, the word loneliness has nothing to do with whether
you are still single or in a relationship. One can be in a relationship and
feel very lonely, just as you can be single and not feel lonely.
Don’t be surprised to see people who are attached and still feel
highly neglected in their relationships. Even though they are with
someone, they appear worse off than when they were single. So also, you can see
people who are single but feel perfectly at ease with themselves, never once
feeling like they are in a place of lack. They will never feel lonely despite
being alone.
This means that loneliness is a natural mood you feel when you felt nobody
is just around to talk or share your thought with. I never feel lonely all my
life, not just because I was always in love, but because I developed how to
deal with it.
Though, there will always be a time in life when one will feel a little
empty; one will wished he/she had someone in his/her life. You will see two
lovers, and feel you have someone to be care and be cared for.
Especially when you think of happy married couples, you will feel happy for
them, and wished you will be in their position anytime soon. Unfortunately,
if you continue to drill into this kind of wish, you will find out that you
become so desperate for love.
My personal experience with
loneliness
There was a time when I found out that, I was going deeper in admiring those
who are in love with one person or the other. I later realized that this desire
was as a result of me thinking it’s the responsibility of someone to make me
happy. This resulted in the emptiness of my feeling.
I then later thought that, what if I got someone who presently is the source
of my joy. That means I would become dependent on her to always be there for
me. What if am to break up with her in the nearest future, definitely the feeling
of loneliness will be back again? Then I saw a good reason, to make myself
happy instead of building my happiness on someone else.
The following are what I did to deal
with loneliness without a partner:
1) I Opened My Heart
To Everyone: The question of whether
you will feel lonely or not still burn down to the kind of people in your life
and how you interact with them. The moment I discovered this, I began to open my
heart to others and get out there to make new connections with new people.
I also recognized that there is no need to find
love by force because Mr. A was already having a working relationship. I believed
love is everywhere around us, it just depends on how we perceived it.
You will never see this if you are facing one
side to find love. Right from the time I understood this, I stopped feeling
those moments of loneliness in my life.
2) I started seen
completeness in myself and in my ability: In the past, I was so desperate
to get someone, just because I believed it was only in her that I can actually
find joy. But when I became competence of myself, I started to see and feel
completeness as an individual, instead of looking forward to meeting someone
who will make me happy.
3) I worked on my
self – confidence: Do you know that lack
of self-confidence can actually make you feel lonely? You have to appraise yourself
worth and develop confidence on yourself and your ability.
You don’t need to feel self-conscious whenever
you are out with people. Just behave normal, and don’t be intimidated with your
friends who are out there with their partners. You just feel it’s normal. As a
human being, you tend to feel lonely when you think your own situation is
abnormal.
4) I expanded by
social circle: I think this was the major reason why I created so many
social profiles. I joined Facebook, Twiter, LinkedIn, BBM, Whatapp, Viber, 2go,
Google+ and many other more.
Through these medium, I made new friends and
develop stronger friendships with my existing friends. This really helped me in
dealing away with the feeling of loneliness. And I was never in rush to get
into any relationship, just to make me happy.
With my experience, I believed, I do not need any
relationship, to complete myself, or to make me an happy person in life because
I‘m already a complete person.
This post is not for me Uthman oooo
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