Sunday, 13 September 2015

Love Is A Game Or Is Not a Game

Love is not a gave, dating is a Game
Whoever  thinks and assumes that love is a game destroyed his/her heart. I can't think anybody with this kind of wrong assumption will have anything in mind less than seeing his/her partner like an "opponent" to be defeated. To some people, dating is just like a game to be won. Lovers are more or less like a player in the world of possibilities...where the possibilities are uncertain.

A friend and I involved in a constructive argument about this topic. Where he presented the reasons why he perceived love as a game to support his view.

According to him, ''Love is a game because there is always an impression to maximize people’s interest in you, to maximize your chances in dating, and at the end of it all to keep yourself safe. To keep yourself from being vulnerable, from ever being hurt''. 

By doing this, you have to strategize, conceal and even pretend in some certain cases, just to make her love you.

These Are His Reasons Why  Love Is A Game

i) There Are Two Parties Involved: Dating, just like others games of chance has two parties who are both there to protect their personal interest and to win. Every party involved is coming with the intention of getting his/her aim achieved without being hurt or being exposed to heartbreak. Just as players don't want to lose in football competitions.
ii)  There Is A Playing Field: Right from the time you both consented to date each other, you have created an open field where you are both meant to perform. And in fact, you will have spectators who are observing what going on in your relationship.

 iii)  There Is Always An Agreement: All forms of games have their terms and conditions, so also in a relationship, partners consciously deliberate on what to do in order to achieve a desirable outcome. You both go into an agreement, some with the intention of getting married, while some with another intention.

iv) Different Things Can Unfold: In all games, you can start well and at the end of the game, different thing can unfold. So also the game of relationship, you only know the beginning but can't predict what will end it up.
v) There Is A Prize To Be Won: At the end of all games, participants have certain prizes to win. So also in a game of relationship, depending on what you are looking for, it could be a long-term loving relationship, a short-term dating, or just a one-night stand. Once you are able to achieve this, then, you you've won the prize.

With the above points, he advised me to approach dating like a game. He concluded by saying; Love is  all about seduction and tactics, he said. “Your job is to do whatever it takes to entice the other party and keep them wanting more. When you successfully do that and become a couple, that’s when you have succeeded in the game.”

My Reasons Why Love Is Not A Game

Game is a competition between two or more partners with a consideration of prize. There is no way you will be involved in a game of chance without declaring the other parties as an ''Opponents". The logic is to develop a strategy to outsmart your opposition and take a lead. This is what a game of chance is all about.

Love on the contrary is not in anyway demanded for a separate agenda from the partners, rather its a collective way of achieving a common goal. It does not require you to develop a means of getting it achieved all alone.

Love is all about letting your partner knows everything about you. It discloses what is incomparable and irreplaceable about you to your partner. It wants to know what makes you happy and sad.

It wants to find your top secrets and discloses it to your loved one. And it is not risk free, it only makes you to risk your heart in ways that are always not too dangerous.

If you are the type that never let yourself fall in love naturally, you will never get a true love. The more you hide yourself with some games and tactics, the more difficult you make it for love to find you.  The usual problem with the games of romance is that eventually the secret will finally be revealed. And you will be the one to lose out.
The Alternative Ways Of Approaching Love Instead Of Being A game

1) Always Be Yourself: You don’t have to modify your behavior just to fit someone else. Don’t behave in a certain way just because you think this is needed to make the other person love you more.

Be open to accommodate, but retain your real identity. No matter how you pretend to please that person, he/she will never appreciate you, if he could find out.
2) Be open about your intentions: You don’t need to treat love like a game, don’t pretend…This means if you truly love someone you are dating, and let it be known to him/her. Don’t feel like you need to conceal them so that they won’t take advantage of it to maltreat you.
What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t withhold your feelings with the people you like. If you like the person, express it openly through your care and concern. You will find such an approach less taxing on your heart and soul as well.

3) Stop Using Game Strategies: You have to stop approaching your relationship like its strategic game. Always be aware that you are dealing with real people and real emotions, and everything you do affects these people’s emotions as well. Be in tune with your real emotions, and react based on those emotions.

I hope this helps?

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  1. I hope this helps love to be better.. Nice concept.

  2. Hnmmmmmm! I hope it helps too

  3. i love the way both of you analyse it sum it up,never see love as a game

    1. Thanks for your ccomment and am happy you liked it.


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