Wednesday, 7 October 2015

How To Overcome The Problem Of Shyness

I can still remember those days, when speaking among my peer group was a great challenge. I don't seem to be confident enough to even answer questions in the class, even though I knew it.

Anytime I found myself hanging out with people, I just have to remain quite to be comfortable. Any attempt by anybody to make me talk in public, could make me faint or discomfort me.

Honestly, speaking to a group of two or three friends used to be a difficult task for me. During all these times, it was always a doubtful miracle. I never believed I could overcome that painful shyness.

On so many occasions, I would prefer the teacher beating everybody in the class instead of me to stand up and answer his question. Some other good days, I do tell the next person beside me the correct answer, just to save us from been punished.

I kept suffering from this, until lately 2010 when I was travelling from Ilorin to Kaduna. I joined a commercial bus, and beside me was a friend and an elderly strange man. Me and my friend were both in need of admission to a University then.

So the man introduced a topic of discussion, expected both of us to contribute but I never mind him. Even though I have a better ideal on it. All my friend's efforts to bring me into the discussion fell abortive. So he continue to discuss with him till we later departed.

Not knowing the man was just in the better position to help us secure the admission.
He later helped my friend as result of the relationship they built during the journey.

Ever since then, I devised a means of dealing with thesocial phobia in me. But, a long time before I took action, it was a huge deal in my life.

Today, unnecessary shyness is no longer in me, I'm now very comfortable in the company of other people in any situation. In several occasions, I talk in public to people about career, motivation and others. And am also a coordinator in most of the social groups I belong.

With this post, I will give you the tips with which you are going to overcome your problem of shynes.

1) Change your mindset: Fear, joy, been outspoken, having any of these starts in your mind and then becomes reality. When I got to know this, I realised there was a need for me to install the right beliefs into my subconscious. 

You need to talk to yourself and make a final decision that you are going to stop that social shyness. Its a bondage that makes you remain voiceless, where your voice should be heard. 

2) Get a positive minded people as friends: What actually helped me then was my belief. I don't belief in hanging out with other shy people who will worsen my problem. 

I don't rely on them to speak for me in most cases, but I learned been vocal from them. They were always there to push and force me to join a particular discussion they felt necessary. 

And most times, its full of encouragement just to make sure I talk in public.  To overcome the shyness in you, it is advisable you get positive and vocal friends to move with.

3) Challenge Yourself to do new thing: I got to know that, no one can achieve anything reasonable in life, when you remain in one place. So therefore, on a timely basis we have to keep doing new things.

I agreed that anytime you laid your hand on a new thing, it’s going to be a bit tough. But you must do this to grow. 

The easiest way to deal with shyness is to force yourself, go to the social environment and make yourself comfortable by talking and relating with anybody. Irrespective of their social status.

If you do this, nothing will happen to you, don't allow fear to dictate to you. You don’t need to let fear hold you hostage.  

Stop killing yourself with the feelings that all eyes on you. Believe me nobody really cares about you. So stop being so self absorbed.  

Stop imagining, what if they said this, what if they mock me, what if the laugh at me and the likes. To overcome shyness, you have to imagine no one is after you and you care not if there is any. Just do your things.

Overcoming any form of fear or shyness is not about crying yourself to bed every night because you wanted to change. The change is in your action. The only thing that counts is action. 

To overcome shyness is not really easy, its an in built attitude, but you can do it. Just change the state of your mind, and deal with it.

 I hope this helps?


  1. Anyone usually have that shyness when talking in public, even in courtroom, I see adult shake. The best is pretend as if nobody is there whenever you there.

    1. many people have this problem. The worst is that they don't have idea on how to deal with it.

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