Saturday, 23 January 2016

The Pains And Agony Of A Childless Woman In A Pure African Society

pains of childless mother

Asking God In Tears...
"Why won’t you bless my womb? Why won’t you give me a baby? Please what wrong have I done? Is there any sin have not confessed? Why won't you make my childhood's dreams of having babies a reality? Don’t you love me? Why do you hate me? Why are my prayers not answered?"

Now Promising God With Tears...

"If you could bless me with a child, I will ever remain grateful. I promise to raise all my children to love and serve you throughout their lives. They will never disobey your commands...I promised to take care of them, and never associate anything with you."

Daily Challenges Of Childless Women In Our Society
In almost all African societies, a childless woman comes in contact on a daily basis with a reminder of the fact that she has no child. In every situation and circumstance she finds herself, she will definitely be reminded. She might see children in the school bus, see them with their parents, eatery, parks, religious houses or just anywhere in the society.

In this part of the world, I can be bold to say that there is no greater grief than to be childless. The pain of childless mother is indescribable. It makes me assume whether marriage in Africa is all about child bearing and nothing more.

As a matter of fact, the moment you got married and its already a month or two. Relatives and friends start questioning to know if there is any good news about pregnancy. No one cares or questions as to how happy your union has been, but they will be caring enough to ask you about child making.

Every woman don't perceive this as a problem at the earlier stage of her wedding until when the period is getting longer. They don't want to believe its real, find it difficult to believe they won't have a baby, even when their unsupportive mother in-law condemn them with various names.

The Story Of A Childless Woman In Our Street

People call her childless woman (Ag'an in Yoruba language) around my area. I grown up to meet her childless. When I was growing up, I always engaged myself in a childish personal thinking and asked 'why won't she give birth to atleast a child, instead of sending people's children an errand?' I never knew she also dreamt of having babies, just like every other women.

I don't know the reasons for her infertility, but I heard she was sent packing from her previous three husbands before she finally settled with a polygamous man in my place.

Haven spent another 5 years childlessness  in her new marriage plus the previous 11years in others. She lost the hope of having children. She paid less attention to hatred and side talks.

She already worked on herself and she no longer feel jealous/hurt whenever younger women around her announce their pregnancies. Talked incessantly about their children to intimidate her or when she is been insulted by other people for been a barren.

She was no longer ashamed to tell people none, when they ask her how many children she bear. She stopped blaming God for what He decided for her. Consequently, she developed a sense of gratitude for just being alive every day. So she was free, but yet, every situation in the society comes to hurt.

That is what is takes to be a childless mother.

Reasons For Women Inability To Bear Children

Am not a medical expert, and I may not know what the actual cause could be for specific woman. All I knew is that, the reasons for women inability to bear children varied. It could be from her or her husband. The fault could be medical, late marriage, or something entirely different.

Unfortunately, all childless mothers share the same pains, face the same challenges and get humiliated the same way. That is what it takes to be a childless woman!
But no matter how tough the going go to cope with the situation, I believed infertility is not a withdrawal of God’s love, not a judgment, or punishment, or sign of been abandoned, or a proof that God is powerless. He still answers prayers. He only does what He wishes.


  1. The last paragraph says it all. Women who are still believing God for the fruit of the womb should remember that God still answers prayers. In His own time, He will do it in their lives

    Alabekee's Blog

    1. hmmmn...I agree with you.God will answer us in his own time,i refuse to worry

  2. “He [God] still answers prayers. He only does what He wishes,” is no different from what you might expect if he didn’t exist. For instance, you pray for rain, and it rains, so you think God did it, but I don’t pray for rain, and it still rains, only I don’t think that God, if there is a God, has anything to do with rain making. People pray for safety from tornadoes and later thank God for having been spared, although their neighbors were killed. Why think God was responsible for either? Nothing ever comes from prayer that might not have happened anyway. If it did, I would believe in prayer.

    1. It does. Just that you have never been committed to or believed in prayer that's why you said so.

      He is in existence and its only requires us to look at the admonishable creatures of Allah for us to appreciate that they look more perfect than been created by nature.

      How are you doing?


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