Sunday, 7 February 2016

3 Important Sacrifices You Never Knew The Military Wives Are Making For You

The pains of military wives on deployment
It is the pride and responsibilities of every committed and self respecting gallant soldier to always be ready, to be at the middle of actions whenever they are summoned. Their job is ever changing and no permanent army in one barrack. So their work could take them far away from home at any time. 

To them, that is what it takes to be in the military. Unfortunately, nobody understands the horrors of war better than the army wives. In all cases, the army wives and their children pray for peace and not war.

The Wives Of Men In The Military
Just like many civilians, I knew of army's wife but I knew nothing about her trial, sacrifices and devoted life she lives. Not until 2010, I never knew an army wife is such a brave, emotional, courageous and devoted woman. 

Unlike other women, army wives pay a lot to remain in their marriages. To me they pay the supreme sacrifice for  their countries which is just slightly different from that of their husbands. Soldiers go to war, but their wives and children feel the pains at home. 

They remain ready to face this even at a point when their is no security of future years together with their men again. Will there be peace or war? Will he be killed or come back alive? Nobody can tell, and that is what it takes to be a soldier's wife. 

My Personal Experience With Them Since 2009 Till Date

One of my friends during  our school days in Zamfara State, was the first son of a brave soldier. His dad went for peace keeping in Sudan for two years, an equivalent numbers of years the boy spent to obtain National Diploma in Accounting.  

Meaning neither him nor his mum set their eyes on the dad for such a long period of time. My friend (age 19) was in charge of almost all the affairs of the house, been the first and the only son among four.

Nothing hurts him more than when their father made promises he could never fulfilled due to the nature of his assignment. ''Don't worry my boy, we are coming back to Nigeria anytime soon..." He often say this on phone whenever he had access to phone to call home.

Despite this...
In terms of supports, is there any woman I can compare with our gallant soldiers wives? They are always found deep in thought about their men, they pray every day for their safety, courage, strength and motivation to fight and succeed. 

Will The Pains Of Deployment Ever Stops?

In 2010 I was opportune to visit their house in the barrack here in Kaduna and met with the mum. After our long period of conversation, she said, there is no time when the pain of deployment would ever stop for a soldier wife...

She said " Despite my long time experience as a wife of a man in the military, some times I feel so lonely and overwhelm that I broke into tears. I don’t know what to tell my kids. I don’t know if I should tell them am sad, or keep pretending as if everything is right. Someone been completely detached from you for more than two years is not an easy task."

She then said, my boy Here Are Few Things You Know Not About Soldiers Wives:

1) We Are Tire Of Loneliness: As a soldier wife, if your husband is with you today, don't expect he would be tomorrow. He can go to office, from there to another country. We are used to living our lives with the kids alone. 

We train, bath, feed, wash their dress and take them to schools on a daily. We are tired of sleeping all alone on our beds for years and handling family issues alone. Its painful and exhausting most especially when you have no idea of when he is coming back home.

2) Our Marriages Struggle To Survive: What makes things more difficult are the distance, the stress, and the sudden deployments. There is virtually no time to discuss or even enjoy the marriage. Always on duty and the command from above supersede that of our marriage. Some times, I feel like being with my husband, but the military needed him. He has to go, and that could take years.

3) Our Husbands Miss A Lot Of Family Things: Unlike Bankers, Accountants and Lawyers who are sure of going to work and return the same day. Ours could take years. So they missed most of the happening around the family. 

Hmmmm she concluded the discussion with this emotional words..."despite all the ugly scenario have stated above, we won't give up, we will remain supportive. We are brave, and happy, because we are making this sacrifices not for anyone but for YOU and your FAMILY to live in peace. That is what it takes to be a soldier wife."

Since you now know this, never underestimate the wife of a military man, you never can tell what she might have sacrificed for you, your family and the World entirely.


  1. That's why I didn't marry a military man, I can't stand not seeing my husband ooo.

    I do pity them sha

  2. They are trying for real. In the states they respect their wives verrrrrry well.

  3. Enter your comment...

    dem deay try
    e no easy

  4. I doff my hat for these women because the sacrifices they're making cannot be overemphasized. Kudos to them

    Alabekee's Blog

  5. I'm sure it's all true in every country.


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